


Alleluia

by mithrel



Series: Alleluia [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, Blow Jobs, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-09
Updated: 2009-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-26 06:42:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/279931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas comes back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alleluia

Sam looked up at the knock on the motel door. “Who’s that?”

Dean shrugged. “Housekeeping?” He didn’t really care. It had been a month since Cas left, and he didn’t care about much of anything anymore. With the way his life had been, he shouldn’t have been surprised. He could never keep anything good, and he lost everyone he cared about sooner or later, usually sooner. He’d been…well not “praying.” Praying usually didn’t involve obscenities. But every night since Cas had left, he’d treated whoever was listening to a variation of, “You sadistic bastard, it’s not bad enough you royally screwed over my life and put me through hell, literally, you had to take away one of only two good things in my life! I hope you’re happy, you _fucker!_ ”

When he opened the door, though, he got a shock. Cas was standing there, looking the same as he had before.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said softly.

Dean gaped at him. “What are you doing here?” he blurted, then winced at how it sounded.

“I’ve been given a new assignment,” Cas said, either not picking up on the rudeness or ignoring it.

Realizing he was still standing in the doorway, Dean moved back, letting Cas in. “What assignment?”

Cas smiled. “I’m your guardian. Yours and Sam’s.”

“That’ll be a full-time job,” Sam said, getting up from where he was looking for a new case. “Good to see you again, Cas,” he said, holding out his hand.

This time Cas shook it without hesitation. “Sam.”

“But, wait a minute,” Dean said. “Did you drag Jimmy away from his family, or…” He was glad to have Cas back, more than glad, but he wouldn’t be responsible for Jimmy being put through more shit. He was just some poor schmuck who hadn’t deserved to be dragged all over creation, shot, stabbed, his family threatened… _No one_ deserved that.

But Cas was shaking his head. “This body is mine.”

“When you say ‘yours’…?” Sam began.

“Obviously I couldn’t come back in my true form, and since, as you said, guarding you will be a ‘full-time job,’ I could not in good conscience take on a vessel.”

“So, what?” Dean asked, wondering where this was going. Cas still _looked_ like Jimmy…

“I had grown…accustomed…to Jimmy’s form, as I believe you had. So when I was granted a mortal body I was given one that looked like Jimmy.”

“So it’s just you in there? No one else?” Dean demanded.

Cas nodded. “This has been causing me some problems.”

“Problems?” Sam repeated.

“Angels don’t experience things the way mortals do…emotions, sensations. When we come to Earth we take a vessel to help us process the input.”

“But you’re not in a vessel, so you’re having trouble processing?” Sam asked.

Cas nodded again, shuddering slightly. “I don’t know how you deal with it.”

Dean laughed. “It’s not all bad!”

Cas frowned suddenly, blinking.

“What’s up?”

“I’m…not sure. I’m…uncomfortable,” Cas replied.

“Uncomfortable how?” Sam asked.

“My stomach feels strange. It’s moving around.”

Dean grinned. “You’re hungry. We haven’t had lunch yet, might as well go now.”

***

They sat down at a burger place a few minutes later. Dean didn’t bother with the menu; he would get the same thing he always did: a double cheeseburger with extra onions.

Sam set the menu aside after a few moments.

“What you getting?” Dean asked him.

“Mushroom burger,” Sam replied.

“You and mushrooms,” Dean muttered.

Cas was staring at the menu uncertainly. “I don’t know what any of this is.”

“Just get a regular cheeseburger,” Dean advised him. It was better for him not to have anything complicated until he got used to being in a human body on his own.

The waitress came over, wearing a short skirt and tight top. Dean momentarily regretted becoming monogamous, especially since he and Cas hadn’t actually had sex yet. They’d come close, but Dean didn’t know how much Jimmy was aware of, and the thought of having sex with two people (in one body, that is) one of whom was incapable of giving consent, made him sick.

“What can I get you?”

“Root beer,” Sam said.

“Sounds good,” Dean said. “I’ll have one too.”

“And for you?” she asked Cas.

He got a deer-in-the-headlights look for a moment, before saying, “Root beer.”

“And we’re ready to order,” Sam continued. “I’ll have the mushroom burger.”

“Double cheeseburger, extra onions,” Dean said.

The waitress turned to Castiel again. “Just a cheeseburger,” he said.

“What do you want on it?”

When he looked blank, she said, “Tomatoes, lettuce, onions, pickles…?”

“Yes?” Cas hazarded.

The waitress nodded. “Three root beers, one mushroom burger, one double cheeseburger with extra onions, one cheeseburger with tomatoes, lettuce, onions and pickles. Should be out in a few minutes.”

“Thanks,” Dean said, giving her a slow smile. She blushed and left.

Sam cleared his throat and gave him a disapproving look. Dean shot a guilty glance at Cas, who looked hurt. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Cas said, but he was huddled in on himself and he wouldn’t meet Dean’s eyes.

Dean sighed, leaned over and kissed him softly, just to make a point. When he pulled back, Cas looked like someone had hit him in the back of the head with a board. “You OK?”

Cas shook himself slightly, blinking, and ran a hand over his lips. “Fine. That was…different.”

“Well, you’re experiencing things without a filter, now,” Sam pointed out, and Cas nodded.

In a few minutes the waitress came back with their drinks. Dean unwrapped his straw and took a drink, closing his eyes. “Man, I haven’t had root beer in forever.”

He looked over at Cas, who was staring warily at his drink. “It’s not gonna bite you, you know.”

Cas clumsily unwrapped his straw, put it in his soda, and took a drink. He promptly choked.

Dean reached over and slapped him on the back. When Cas recovered, he spluttered, “It’s cold, but it burns!”

“Carbonation,” Sam said. “They put bubbles in it.”

“Why?”

“Because…uh…” Sam looked at Dean, who shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t think I like root beer,” Cas declared.

“Oh, come on, it’s good!” Dean said, taking a drink of his own by way of demonstration.

Cas looked dubious, but took another sip. He didn’t choke this time.

“So, do you still have your mojo?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “I could hardly guard you two if I didn’t. I have my Grace and can use it to help you, but in all other ways I’m human.”

“So you’ve got the best of both worlds. Should be interesting,” Sam said.

“Or something,” Dean muttered. “Did you find anything, by the way?” he asked Sam.

Sam shrugged. “Couple things that might be worth checking out. There’s a farmer in Iowa who cleared some land recently, and the trees are back, same as before. Or in Nebraska children are going missing at night and leaving dolls that look just like them.”

Dean shuddered. Dolls again. “OK, we’ll check ‘em out.”

The waitress came back then, and Dean shushed them. “Mushroom burger,” she said to Sam, setting it down in front of him.

“Double cheeseburger with extra onions,” she said, setting it in front of Dean.

“Awesome!”

“And a cheeseburger with tomatoes, lettuce, onions and pickles.”

Dean opened his burger and snorted, then grabbed the mustard.

“Dude, you’re using half the bottle,” Sam protested.

Dean ignored this. “I dunno, restaurants always give you too much ketchup and not enough mustard.”

“Mine’s fine,” Sam said, biting into it. His eyes rolled up in his head.

“Dude, get a room,” Dean smirked.

“Do I need to…?” Cas asked.

Dean shrugged. “Does it have enough ketchup and mustard?”

Cas opened the burger and looked at it. “I’m not sure how much it’s meant to have.”

“It’s a matter of taste,” Sam said. “Try it and see.”

Cas took a small bite. His eyes bugged out, and he chewed. And chewed. And chewed.

“Well?” Dean asked, when he finally swallowed.

“This is a burger,” Cas said.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s a burger.”

Cas thought a moment. “I can see why you like them.” He took another bite, and washed it down with a gulp of root beer.

Dean grinned, and clapped him on the back. “You’re learning!”

***

After that they went out shopping. Cas needed more clothes, and more _normal_ clothes than he was wearing at the moment.

They went where the Winchesters always went for clothes: Walmart.

“So how do we do this?” Sam asked.

“You go get him socks and underwear and something to sleep in, I’ll take care of the jeans and T-shirts.”

In the Men’s section Dean pulled out some Fruit of the Loom T-shirts and held them up to Cas one by one. “I think this one’s your size,” he said, putting it in the cart. He picked up a black shirt with a picture of the moon on it and put it in the cart too. “Well, pick some out!”

Cas considered the shirts for a moment before selecting a Superman T-shirt and putting it in the cart. Dean hid a smile at the appropriateness of that. “You ever seen Superman?”

Cas shook his head. “No.”

“He’s kinda like you, actually. We’ll have to rent the movies–oh awesome!”

“What?”

Dean held up the Kiss: Destroyer tee. “We’re so getting this!” He put it in the cart, then found one in his size and put it in too.

They got a few more shirts, then on the way to the jeans they passed hoodies. “We should get you one of those. You might get cold now.”

They looked through the various types, and Cas picked out a blue one. Dean thought that it would bring out his eyes, and then promptly evicted such a girly thought from his head.

They picked out several colors and styles of jeans: acid-wash, camo, stonewash, and black.

Sam caught up with them as Dean put the last pair in the cart, and dumped a pile of underwear and socks on top of it. “I got some for us, too.”

Dean nodded. “Good.”

They headed for the fitting room. “Take these inside the room, lock the door and try them on to see if they fit.” Dean told him.

“How will I know?”

“They’ll feel comfortable. Tell you what, come out when you’ve tried them on and we can check the fit.”

That took awhile, and Dean had to go in to help Cas at one point, hoping no one would notice. That was an exercise in self-control. The sight of Cas wearing only underwear and socks would tempt a saint, which Dean definitely was not. He looked amazing in jeans and a T-shirt, but then Dean already knew that. _We stopped Lucifer, that future won’t happen,_ he reminded himself.

They paid for the stuff and headed back to the motel. By that time it was getting dark. Cas yawned, then looked alarmed.

“Relax,” Sam said. “You’re tired. You need to sleep.”

“Sleep?” Cas repeated nervously.

Dean sighed. “Yeah, sleep. Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

They got changed, and Sam looked at the beds. “We’ll have to get a room with three beds next time.”

Dean nodded, looking at Cas. “For tonight you can sleep with me.”

It was cramped, but kind of nice, having Cas pressed up against him. As an angel, he hadn’t slept, so this was new for both of them. But Cas was tense, and Dean knew neither of them would sleep like that. “Relax, would you?”

“I’ve never slept before.”

“It’s fine, people sleep every night!”

“I don’t know what to do.”

Dean hadn’t known he had this much patience. “Just relax and you’ll fall asleep,” he told him.

“And I’ll wake up again?”

Dean smiled at the question. “Yeah, you’ll wake up tomorrow.”

Cas closed his eyes, and Dean watched as he slowly relaxed. “Sleep well, Cas.”

***

In the morning, there was a problem Dean hadn’t anticipated, even though he should have. Cas was still pressed against him, and he was hard.

He wasn’t sure what to do about that. Given how Cas had reacted to just a kiss yesterday, he didn’t know what actual sex would do to him. Plus there was that whole ‘virgin’ thing.

Dean waited, hoping it would go away. It didn’t. He sighed, and shook Cas’ shoulder. “Cas. Wake up.”

Cas stirred and opened his eyes. “Dean?” He looked down at his body in confusion. “What–?”

“C’mon, we’re gonna have to take care of that,” Dean said. Sam was still asleep, luckily. He got up, and motioned to Cas to follow him into the bathroom.

He turned on the shower and shucked off his clothes. After a moment’s hesitation Cas did the same, and nope, his hard-on hadn’t gone away.

Dean stepped into the shower. Cas followed him, and shuddered as the water hit him.

“You OK?” Dean asked, wondering if the water was too hot.

“Yes,” Cas moaned.

“You sure?”

Cas closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When he answered, his voice was steadier. “I’m fine.”

“Look, Cas, I didn’t want our first time, your first time, to be…” Dean trailed off. Sam would laugh his ass off if he knew, which was why he’d never find out.

Cas smiled shyly. “I don’t mind.”

Dean nodded, and reached out for him. The sight of Cas, naked, turned on, the water streaming down his shoulders and over his chest, was affecting him. He hadn’t had actual sex since before Zach zapped him to the future. Seeing what had happened to Cas in the future, what had happened to _himself_ in the future, made him decide his issues could go screw themselves and he’d made a move. And since Cas had left he’d been too depressed to pick up anyone.

He touched Cas’ shoulder, cautiously, and pulled him closer. He kissed him, softly again, and when Cas gasped, Dean insinuated his tongue into his mouth. Cas jolted like he’d been shocked, but he moaned and opened to him, grabbing his arms. His right hand covered the brand on Dean’s shoulder, and this time Dean jolted, the connection between them intensifying.

After a moment, Dean pulled away. “OK?”

“Dean…” Cas breathed, his pupils blown, hands shaking on Dean’s shoulders.

He smiled slightly, feeling the water pounding over him. “Yeah?”

“I…want…I don’t know what I want.”

Dean smiled again. “It’s OK. I’ve got you.” Oh, Sam would so never let him hear the end of this. But he couldn’t just fuck Cas, not after everything they’d been through together, caught between heaven and hell. Not after Cas had saved him from a fate literally worse than death, not when Cas had never done anything like this before.

He kissed the corner of Cas’ mouth, moving along his jaw and down his throat, following the drops of water and licking them off. Cas moaned, and Dean felt an answering moan tearing itself out of his throat. “God, Cas, you’re fucking beautiful, did you know that? You look so hot like this, wet and turned on.”

“Dean,” Cas groaned, his hands roving over Dean’s back, stroking down and coming to rest on his ass.

Dean ran his fingers over Cas’ nipple, and he jerked, then shook his head weakly. “Don’t.”

Dean locked eyes with him. “You alright?”

Cas nodded, his breathing ragged. “I’m fine, just…it’s too much.”

Dean felt a moment of concern. If that was too much for him, what would he do when Dean touched his cock? He thrust it away, and said, “OK, no nipples, got it.”

He ran his hands down Cas’ sides, down to his hips, until he was kneeling in front of him. He wasn’t sure that he should do this, but he’d wanted to for…he didn’t even know how long. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

Cas nodded.

Dean leaned forward and tongued at the tip of Cas’ cock.

“Ohhh,” Cas moaned.

Dean pulled back. “OK?” he asked.

Cas nodded frantically, his mouth open. “Yes, yes, don’t stop!”

Dean sucked him down, carefully, hollowing his cheeks.

Cas’ hands came up and fisted in his hair, pulling hard enough to hurt, but at the moment Dean didn’t care. In fact, it was turning him on even more.

He pulled off all the way, and blew on the tip. Cas bucked his hips forward. “Dean, please…”

Cas was begging. Begging _him,_ Dean, to blow him. His mind almost refused to process the thought, but he was already leaning forward again, not sucking him this time, but licking and kissing along his cock, moving down to lap at his balls.

Cas let out something that sounded like a sob, and his hands clutched at Dean’s hair. He was chanting, “Please, please, Dean, please…”

Dean took pity on him and moved back down on his cock. He’d sucked cock before, but this was different. This was Cas, always so controlled, coming apart under his hands. That would almost be enough for him, without anything else.

Cas gasped suddenly, and strangled out, “Dean…”

He knew what that meant, and sucked harder, massaging the vein on the underside, and Cas gave a ragged cry that sounded like it was ripped from the bottom of his throat and came.

Dean worked him through it, and when Cas was finished and his legs were giving out he stood up to support him.

The look of adoration on Cas’ face made Dean slightly uncomfortable. He reached out and stroked Dean’s face, wonderingly. Dean forced himself not to flinch away, knowing how that would hurt him. He was getting better with intimacy, but for most of his life he’d kept everything behind walls, not even letting Sam in, and occasionally his instincts still whispered, _Don’t. You can’t afford to care, can’t afford vulnerability, can’t afford another weakness they’ll exploit._

Cas’ expression shifted to uncertainty then, as he looked at Dean. “What do I…?”

“Here.” Dean took his hand and guided it to his cock. Cas wrapped it around him, and Dean threw his head back, water running in his open mouth. _Sam’s gonna kill me for using all the hot water,_ flashed across his mind, but he couldn’t care about that now, not when he’d just given Cas his first orgasm and Cas had his hand around his cock.

Dean covered Cas’ hand with his own and showed him how to move. Normally he took things slower, but he was so turned on now he just wanted to come.

After awhile his hand fell away and Cas kept jacking him, as Dean thrust into the circle of his fingers.

Cas’ hand slipped, the water making things slick, and his thumb brushed over the tip of Dean’s cock. Dean let out a long, low groan, and came. Cas worked him through it, as Dean had, and only stopped when the last spasm had passed.

Cas looked at him uncertainly. “Was that…OK?”

Dean laughed. “You’re amazing,” he said, and kissed him.

Cas pulled back after a moment, but Dean grabbed his arm. “Hey, Cas? You know I…you know I love you right?” He hadn’t said it before, not in so many words, hadn’t been able to, but he felt like he needed to say it now.

Cas smiled. “I know. But I’m glad you finally told me. I love you, too.”

The silence stretched, becoming awkward. “Of course now we actually need to take a shower,” Dean said. He grabbed the shampoo. “Here, wash your hair.”

***

By the time they came out of the bathroom, Sam was awake. “Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not,” Dean said, smirking and crossing his arms.

Sam shook himself. “OK, so, farmer or missing kids?”

The last thing Dean wanted to do was deal with more creepy dolls, but… “Missing kids.”

“OK. Then I guess we’re headed to Nebraska.”


End file.
